Advice I Would Give To A 20 Something With Anxiety. | Guest Post

Guest post – Confessions of an Anxious Gal

• Post was written by Alicia J @ Confessions of an Anxious Gal 

Advice I would give to a 20 something with anxiety 

I would say I got lucky with not experiencing anxiety until 21. Sounds mad to say, doesn’t it? Lucky to have anxiety. What I mean, is that I didn’t grow up with anxiety, it was something that really just happened one day and it’s been with me ever since. 

When I speak to other young women and they don’t suffer from any anxiety, a slight jealous feeling comes over me, but I stop it from going any further. I can’t change what’s already happened, it’s about moving forward and learning to live and accept my anxiety. 

I wish I had a manual of how to navigate through my twenties, whilst having anxiety. Sadly such manuals don’t exist. Although I can share advice I would give to a 20 something with anxiety. 

Which links with my first piece of advice.

Accept your anxiety 

For the first seven months of having severe anxiety, I was in complete denial. I didn’t want to admit that I was suffering from anxiety. I would blame it on my life, saying that I was just unlucky in life and it got me into a depressed state. 

Accepting that you have anxiety it’s the first step for change. 

I found acceptance really difficult, maybe more than others, because I felt like something was wrong with me. I had a happy childhood, no trauma. My teens were great, I was quiet but again nothing out of the ordinary. 

Wasn’t anxiety for people who had experienced trauma in their lives? 

The answer is no. Anxiety has no rhyme or reason. 

Journalling is really beneficial for writing out your thoughts and feelings about anxiety. Write about your anxiety, how it makes you feel and get it out of your head will help you understand it that little bit better.

image credit: Sincerely Media on Unsplash

Do not google your physical symptoms 

I wish I knew this tip when I struggled with anxiety. I spent so much time on Google convinced I had every disease under the sun. As tempting as it may be, do not google your physical symptoms. 

I found it really damaging as anxiety attack symptoms can be similar to other problems, which is why it can be so confusing. 

If you are worried about your symptoms, seek medical help. 

 

Work isn’t as important as your mental health 

When I joined the working world at 16, fresh out of school, I thought work was the purpose of adult life. Work was the number one priority. 

Wow, how was I wrong. 

It wasn’t until I got into a job that valued their employees I realised that work didn’t have to be my priority when I wasn’t doing well. 

Your mental health is your responsibility and therefore your priority. If you are struggling with life and work is making it harder there are a number of things you can do: 

• Speak to your work. Although this isn’t always the preferred option, if you feel comfortable enough, opening up to your work can be beneficial. Once I explained to my manager about the problems I was facing, I was granted time off for “personal reasons” that were paid. I was also put through counselling sessions for 6 months. I completely understand not all workplaces are as accommodating, but a lot of places do have mental health programs, it’s about reaching out to ask the question. 
• Mental health programs. Although I hear mixed reviews using free mental health platforms, I can’t thank Healthy Valleys enough for all the help and advice they provided. I worked with this group for around a year and they were amazing! 

 

Social media doesn’t have to be toxic

Growing up in the era of Instagram, it was always known as toxic as it doesn’t portray “real life”. Your 20s are supposed to be spent being confused, making mistakes and figuring out what you want in life. Social media is there to share our lives with each other, but in fact, it can cause a gap because when people see others figuring out their lives quicker, they start to panic. 

Add anxiety to that, and the situation feels x10. 

I have three tips for having anxiety over social media. 

1. If your anxiety, about seeing others on social media, is creating real problems in your life. Delete it. In order to heal, you need to take yourself away from the toxic situation. I understand social media is the norm of our generation, but nothing incredibly exciting is going to happen whilst you take a break. Put yourself first. 
2. When you’re ready to join back, don’t fall back into old habits. How can you repeat a process and expect different results? This may be an unpopular opinion, but unfollow anyone who gives off toxic energy, even if you know them. You have to put yourself first. 
3. Don’t look at Influencers. After my social media break, I decided to create all-new social media and I didn’t follow any influencers. I did this because I didn’t actually care about them, social media is about keeping in touch and making new connections. Why follow people who will provide neither of those benefits. 

Since adapting my mindset to social media, it’s really been a game-changer. I’ve made a lot of connections and opportunities for myself.

image credit: Photoholgic on Unsplash

Take the time to learn about anxiety, how to improve your lifestyle + self-care 

Having anxiety can feel overwhelming. I remember thinking “how can I possibly live with this for the rest of my life?” The trick is knowing that you won’t. Things change. You can make the change. 

It wasn’t until I was almost twenty-three that I realised how important it was to take care of myself. 

Things I changed in my life that reduced anxiety and improved my mental health: 

• I said goodbye to binge drinking. Listen I get it, being young you want to go out and party till the morning, but sadly it does have after-effects. I went sober for around five months and it was the best thing I could have done. My head was a lot clearer, I didn’t have hanxiety anymore. Since then, I’ve only drank a handful of times and I don’t let it get out of control. 
• I created structure and routine. Winging life wasn’t something I had the luxury of, and that’s okay. If you can work better with structure, create structure. Use planners, journals and printables to map out your goals and dreams. 
• Caffeine sadly isn’t your friend. Coffee was my go-to every morning but it’s so bad for you when you have anxiety. If you’re drinking a large amount of caffeine, try and cut out what you can. Your body will be tired and grumpy for the first while, but eventually, you won’t rely on it anymore. 

Advice I would give to a 20 something with anxiety 

The twenties are about learning to love ourselves, making mistakes and enjoying life. 

Anxiety doesn’t have to ruin it. Things can change very quickly, but the best advice I can give you is that only you can make that change.